Category: Post-Marathon Reflections

Riding Waves

Obviously I am not a surfer, I’ve never been on a surfboard and I don’t have any intention in doing so. The closest, most relevant concept of a wave in my everyday practice is how x-rays and gamma rays can behave both as a wave or a particle depending on the conditions (wave-particle duality). Also that x-rays and gamma rays lie at the high energy end of the electromagnetic wave spectrum due to higher frequencies and shorter wavelengths. That’s your daily dose of Physics for you, you’re welcome. But this is a blog, not a Physics lecture. That might have just been a good segue…

From the CDC website.

I have learned to ride through the peaks and troughs of a wave. Throughout the wave, I get to know myself better. I either reassure myself, solidifying what I already know or I learn something new. I’ve learned how to cope during challenging times. My least favourite challenge is being stuck in limbo, leading to an urgent need to get out. My most favourite challenge is when things are unbearably uncomfortable as these are the times when I adapt, learn the most, and grow further. Most importantly, I know that I do move along the wave, that things do eventually pass.

I started writing this blog, which is very old-fashioned in today’s world, so I don’t forget the things I’ve done and what I’ve gone through. I could just write in an even more old-fashioned diary, but it’s an extra challenge to add photos in a hand-written diary.

These past 6 months have been rather eventful and intense. Looking back, I was in a similar situation around the time I was training for the London Marathon – going through the motions of an insurmountable exam (PACES), awaiting an Oncology training number, awaiting Maya’s results for Primary school, etc. This time around, the period was really defined when I found out I failed Physics the third time back in October. And if you already know me, I would immediately write a list to help me focus. In the ‘marathon is life’ philosophy, each event is a mile marker.

The first half of the list…

  • Oct 19 2025 Great South Run
  • Oct 20 2025 MIA Fellowship Interview
  • Oct 22 2025 ESTRO Clinical Workshop Application
  • Oct 29 2025 Sydney Marathon Results
  • Oct 31 2025 MIA Fellowship Result
  • Nov 5 2025 Start UHS job
  • Nov 26 2025 Cape Town Marathon Results
  • Feb 11 2026 FRCR Part 1
  • Mar 4 2026 NYC Marathon Results
  • Mar 5 2026 FRCR Part 1 Results
  • Mar 5 2026 Start of ICR Part B
  • Mar 12-13 2026 ESTRO Clinical Workshop
  • Apr 12 2026 Paris Marathon

The Paris Marathon was an excellent checkpoint for the first half of the list. I’ve ticked all of them apart from getting into the Sydney, Cape Town, and NYC marathons. Not getting places all work in my favour as they would cause major conflicts in this year’s plans. So I am actually relieved rather than aggrieved. My brain may just explode with the logistical challenge.

100% Exhausted. 100% Satisfied.

This past week, I was physically exhausted. I got home Sunday late night, barely slept as the caffeine gels and adrenaline think I should be at an after-party. I took Monday morning off and I was back at work in the afternoon. Delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) set in on Monday eve and into Tuesday. I also completely forgot that I was On-Call on Tuesday – I was walking up and down stairs with upper leg muscles that are raging a war against me and all I can do was clench my fist and take deep breaths (and I didn’t get home until midnight, delaying access to paracetamol/ibuprofen). Wednesday clinic. Thursday in London for the course. Friday clinic. The whole week, I was so hungry – I just wanted to eat and eat. And I just wanted to sleep.

Along with the physical exhaustion, I also realised how mentally and emotionally drained I was. It wasn’t very apparent as I have built myself to keep going. Being project/goal-driven, I don’t spend a lot of time wallowing – ‘right, what should I do about it?’ But the physical exhaustion forced me to face these feelings.

There was a mixed bag of feelings – not only sadness but also feeling burnt out. Mind you, the adrenaline has all burnt out as well. Yet I also felt overwhelming appreciation, great satisfaction, and even pride (if I’m allowed). I also realised that I missed David and the kids so much. It didn’t help that David was on Nights half the week. Although, we all spend a lot of time together, I just wanted to hold the three of them. Aside from the Start/Finish Line of a marathon, my ultimate happy place is being in bed at the end of the day, after story time, one kid in each arm, David on the other side. It sounds like we need a holiday.

I am also very appreciative of my amazing family, friends, and work colleagues who support me and have my back. They definitely help me in achieving goals – like a support crew at aid stations in the race. They make sure I keep going. They are there when I stumble and they are there to celebrate any small or big wins.

Speaking of wins…

  1. David has had a Paediatric ICU fellowship interview at Westmead Children’s Hospital in Sydney. Hooray!
  2. This past week, we found out that Maya got a place at Fernhurst Junior School! Hooray!
  3. Today, Xavier moved up to Stage 4 in swimming! Hooray!
  4. Today, I managed to tidy up the garden and get it ready for the spring and summer. I still need to clean the slabs and paint the fence though.
  5. This evening, after tackling the garden and weeks of getting threatening looks from a butternut squash, I finally had time to cut it up and cook it in coconut milk with lentils and mackerel. I’ve been dying to do this for a few weeks now!

So what do the next waves bring?

I went for a small run today to decide if I would run the Southampton Marathon (in 2 weeks’ time). After the 3 mile run, I decided to give my right knee and my IT band a proper break. Although I know there is still some juice in my legs, my right knee feels like jelly even after the 3 mile run.

The second half of the list…

  • Jun 1-5 2026 Leeds Course for FRCR Part 2A
  • Jun 26-27 2026 ESDO
  • Jul 3 2026 Acute Oncology Teaching Day
  • Aug 27 2026 FRCR Part 2A
  • Sep 17 2026 FRCR Part 2A Results
  • Oct 18 2026 Great South Run
  • Oct 22 – Nov 2 2026 Disney World
  • Nov 14-17 2026 FRCR Part 2B
  • Dec 3 2026 FRCR Part 2B Results
  • Dec 20 2026 Portsmouth Coastal Marathon
  • Jan 17 2027 MIA Fellowship Start

Countdown begins… 19 weeks til next exam. 27 weeks til Disney World. 35 weeks til Portsmouth Marathon. 40 weeks til Sydney. Remember those highly energetic x-rays and gamma rays?