Train journeys seem to be the perfect time to reflect. I am now on my way to London to pick up my kit at the ExCel Centre. And if no hiccups, I will run the London Marathon tomorrow. Today, the reflection really is about how wild this past week had been! As in my previous posts, I was anticipating several life-changing outcomes this week.
- Maya’s school allocation
- PACES results
- ARCP outcome (based on PACES results)
- Oncology Specialty Registrar job offer
- London Marathon (result tomorrow)
Monday – Like any morning, I was up at 6am, getting ready for the day. Of course the first email was about Maya’s school allocation. She got allocated to our first choice – Devonshire Infant School! She was asleep but David and I were silent-screaming next to her and cuddling her! It’s not the catchment school but we really liked it during a visit. We’ve been told that the low birth year would be in our favour. We were really looking forward to this. As parents, you always want what’s best for your children. To us, for now, this is the best for her and we hope it will really give her a good start. And this was a good start to the week.
Monday afternoon – I found out that I didnt get an Oncology job offer. First, came the Clin Onc email and then the Med Onc. This didn’t surprise me as I didn’t rank highly. I might have half expected to not get an offer. Bummed but recovered quite quickly because I had mentally prepared for it. I would have just continue locuming and do a PgCert and apply again next time. But also, there are more rounds to go.
Tuesday – this was the most dreaded day of the week. PACES results. I had just finished clinic when one of my colleagues messaged that results are out. I had a 30 min drive home ahead of me and thought, I should drive home first. I had also already mentally-simulated this – for when and how to click on my results. I needed to have seen all my patients, not in the middle of a work day, not before driving home (especially driving home with kids). I had to be at home, in the living room, with David. I drove home envisioning my result and tried to see how I would react. What I did know was that I had no more energy left if I failed again. So got home, found David and Maya in the living room, Xavier asleep on the sofa. I told David results are out… I sat myself on the floor and logged in. There’s no room for any more build up – already had a 3 agonising weeks of that. Andddd… I PASSED!!! And I passed well – 159/172! One mark higher than David (had to say that). Too bad it took 3 attempts to get that (also had to say that). But OMG. That was it. That whole saga is finally over. I am now a Member of the Royal College of Physicians.
Subsequently, I emailed the ARCP panel about the result and I was granted an Outcome 1 – Achieving progress and competencies at the expected rate. I completed Internal Medical Training!
Wednesday. In the background. Bouts of violent diarrhoea had taken over our household. More on that on the next post. Seriously thought I wouldn’t be able to run on Sunday.
Thursday. Whilst we were on our way to pick the kids up from nursery, David driving, stuck in traffic, I randomly checked my email. And there is was, out of nowhere, not expecting it at all… an offer for a Medical Oncology job! In Wessex! I had only ranked the Wessex jobs, a total of 10 places. And I finally managed to snatch one. I could have accepted the offer there and then but I decided to take a breath first. I’ve held the offer, wait this coming week if a Clin Onc job comes around. But OMG! I’ve got an Oncology Specialty Registrar post!
I’m not gonna lie, I have been dreading this week – 95% because of PACES results. I have already thought out my worst case scenario and started processing that outcome. I envisioned the moment before clicking to find out my results. This became a mental exercise of what success would mean and what failure would mean. What I would do next, I really had to mentally prepare myself for the worse outcome, which was fail PACES, not quite completing IMT, not get a job. Well, I would have to get over some heartbreak but I would then need to keep on truckin’.
Throughout this week, I’ve been talking to one of my mentors, my previous Intensive Care Medicine Clinical Supervisor in Cheltenham, and he said…
It’s all about training and luck on the day. More training, the luck gets less.
I always believe that I just got lucky getting to where I am today. I can’t help the Impostor Syndrome kicking in periodically. I have learn to pause and acknowledge all the hard work I’ve put in throughout the last few years and of course, appreciate and enjoy the journey itself.
Sidenote: I asked my mom to fly in from New York to celebrate all the wonderful news with me, she was going to be at the Finish Line tomorrow. Instead, she had to go straight home from the airport, to take care of the kids as David had fallen victim of the tummy bug.
So here I am, Sunday morning – Marathon morning 4am, finishing my reflection. This week could not get any better (apart from the violent tummy bug). All these good news is filling me with fuel for running 26.2 miles in the streets of London!
If you have made it to this end, in the Spirit of the London Marathon, please check out my Fundraising Sites (which regretfully had taken a back seat in the last few months). I am raising funds not just during the London Marathon but until I complete all 6 World Marathon Majors! I will be much grateful for any amount.
Cancer Research UK – https://fundraise.cancerresearchuk.org/page/reachforthesixstars. I will be running with a Cancer Research jersey. A big chunk of the work I will now be doing are Results of this organisation.
Home-Start Portsmouth – https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/MarathonMon – Home-Start is a fantastic charity in Portsmouth that helps get young families to a good start.
Reach for the Seven Stars 