Home

  • PHY week 2. From Dubrovnik to Sydney

    PHY week 2. From Dubrovnik to Sydney

    Project Pass Physics update: I signed up to The Christie’s Physics course. I don’t know why this has slipped my mind the last time… it was mostly likely that I was reluctant to pay the £521 fee.

    Project Declutter update: I managed to get rid of (donate) Xavier’s and my old and unwanted clothes. Also managed to return scrubs back to the hospital.

    Dubrovnik

    It is half term. David and I managed to get time off and Dubrovnik fit the bill of ‘not yet cold’ and ‘things to do.’ We’ve given up on the pool idea, we would just be disappointed if we set our expectations high.

    I was here over 10 years ago with 2 friends, this was pre-Game of Thrones. Good to know that over 10 years later, Old Town remains a lovely and well-preserved city, but now dotted with Game of Thrones-themed tourist shops. We got the Dubrovnik Pass which allowed access to many historical attractions within Old Town. We bribed the kids with double ice cream to walk the city walls encircling the whole town. They did and got their double ice cream.

    We stayed at a hotel called Valamar Tirena, which has an in-house kids activity centre – Maro World. We made a deal with the kids that the morning is for Mum and Dad (go to Old Town), the afternoon is for them (play in Maro World) and the evening, we all go to the bar for drinks – whisky sours for us and fizzy drinks for them.

    Sydney

    One of my previous Clinical Supervisors, Dr. Warren Doherty, once said with regards to marathon-running…

    The more you train, the less you rely on luck.

    Within a 24-hour timespan, I received 2 polar opposite emails… one of rejection and one of acceptance.

    Email #1

    Sydney just got inducted to be one of the World Marathon Majors last year and the 2025 race was its debut as a WMM. True to form, I entered the Sydney Marathon 2026 ballot. But alas, true to form, I was unsuccessful. Due to the time difference, I read this email at 5 am. But in a way, I was relieved because for once, I had much bigger plans than running the World Marathon Majors. I know I promised not sign up to any races until I pass exams but WMM ballots are WMM ballots. And ballots are purely based on luck.

    Email #2

    Now for something that is purely based on training, rather than luck.

    My bigger plans include passing FRCR Part 1 Physics and now to add a little more spice to the curry, I plan to sit both FRCR Part 2A written and Part 2B oral by December 2026. All because… the second email I received (also beyond midnight due to the time difference) stated that my application/interview was successful and I got offered a Fellowship job at the Melanoma Institute Australia in Sydney working directly under Professor Georgina Long, starting January 2027. This is big, like way beyond my wildest dreams big. Like it deserves its own post big so I will write about it separately in due course.

    This was the ultimate power boost I’ve been needing this year. Poor running and exam performances have really brought me down. I’ve forgotten that there are other aspects in life that I am not doing so badly in. I’ve forgotten that there are things that I have worked hard for and built over time, things that I’ve trained hard for. I also cannot forget the people who have helped me out (more on them later).

    Not getting a place at the Sydney Marathon 2026 is very much okay as I will just have to run it in 2027 – ballot or charity place.

    Here’s to Dubrovnik and Sydney!

  • PHY week 1. Project Pass Physics. Planning (partial week).

    (There are a lot of Ps in that title.)

    This past week I’ve further thought about how to approach Project Pass Physics. For the first time in Clin Onc training, I’ve actually felt like I am falling behind. Like all things, my mind drifts back to the thought that ‘the marathon is life and life is a marathon.’ In my case, this past year, I’ve just not trained hard and well enough and have consequently dropped my pace. I could be a bit more unforgiving but I don’t think that will get me anywhere good. I also do not want to end up too complacent as that will also not get me anywhere good.

    So I came up with a plan for Physics – revise like it is marathon training. So I came up with 16-week plan. This is another one of those ‘when worlds collide’ situation – doctor world collides with running world. It is a rare situation when I have realised that I have hit my limit or in marathon-speak, ‘I’ve hit the wall.’

    There are a multitude of marathon training plans out there with several phases but the most common ones have a Base, Build, Peak, and Taper phase. The Asics app has Pre-Conditioning, Getting Faster, Getting Farther, Fine Tuning. It so happens that my Physics exams is 16 weeks out from now (11.02.2025). Perfect timing.

    David also says…

    Well you have to also keep up with the running.

    I think he understands how I value running without really overstating it. So, I’ve planned to incorporate a modest 15 miles/week just so I don’t completely lose any ability. Variation could include 30 mins/day or 2 short runs during the week and 1 long run during the weekend. Additionally, it is getting cold in this part of the world.

    Here’s what I’ve come up with without too much detail.

    16-week Pass Physics Plan

    Base (4 weeks) – Read a new Physics book. Khan’s Lectures is a level up from Physics for Clinical Oncology book which I’ve already read front to back. I got all lecture notes/presentations organised this week to match with the book chapters. And no matter how hard the end of chapter questions are, I will do them.

    New adventure
    Last adventure

    Build (4 weeks) – Seek out the Physics Team and gain more practical experience. Also set up a small group to do 10 questions 3x a week.

    Peak (4 weeks) – Practice exams non-stop. Use Raphex.

    Taper (4 weeks) – Find further knowledge gaps and focus on these.

    Simple, right? Let’s see how it goes. And oh…do not take up any new projects AND do not sign up for any new races. Except that I already signed the whole family up for the Great South Run 2026. What… it was Early Bird Special. Facepalm.

    11th of February 2026 – FRCR Part 1 Physics

    ,

  • Finally… The Great South Run 2025 is Back

    The Great South Run Mini

    Before the big day, the 5k, junior, and mini races were on. And my 2 little superstars nailed their first little race (more like a fun run really).

    Xavier complained all the way to the start line that he did not want to run the race. We managed to convince him to pin his bib on. I was going to be his grown-up and David was Maya’s.

    ‘I don’t wanna run the race.’

    Then it was Go! Xavier went off, sprinting in full-gas Tom Cruise fashion (full arm swing and all). I had lost him! He was too fast and weaved through the crowd. I lost him for about two minutes. Then spotted him walking as he tired out, as expected. He was high-fiving a turtle and a bell. I called him and said Xavier Go! Off he went again. Maya’s friend’s dad was then behind and kept saying Go Xavie! And then another walk. At first, David and Maya were far behind us but eventually caught up due to the walking. Xavier then grabbed David’s hand and we swapped. I took Maya from half way to the end. All the while, Maya kept saying ‘Mummy, I haven’t stopped and I don’t have a stitch!’ And she carried on chatting whilst running. When we got to the last 200 metres marker, I said ‘Maya, there’s the Finish Line, go fast!’ And her little legs went double time.

    Xavier’s erratic running on the first half, Maya’s nice and steady run on the second half.

    Maya and I crossed the Finish Line together and Xavier with David crossed about 20 seconds later. They both finished their first race and we were so proud of them!

    And of course… there was ice cream!

    The Great South Run

    Plan A: Finish. Achieved.

    After last year’s cancellation, the Great South Run is back in full force. The weather was just a little short of last year’s Storm Ashley. On the previous day, the weather report predicted 95% rain from 11 am to 6 pm, covering the whole duration of the race (how generous). On the day, 95% became 100% predicted. Spitting rain came when we got to the Start Line. Oh it will be alright if it was like this the whole time, we thought. Then what were spits turned into a garden hose watering us little seedlings (who have no soil for protection), thinking perhaps that we would grow more confidence and our pace would blossom with each mile. (Not for me). There was wind from the south but this was really just full-frontal when we turned on to a little bend between the 7th and 8th mile, towards the sea. Then it was not so bad once heading west as it was only blowing from the left, for the last 2 miles of the race.

    Note: The extra skill I have learned since I started running is appreciating the weather report, paying close attention to wind speed and direction and how these elements will affect parts of my run. It really helps with mental preparation (no surprises).

    Last year was the big year when almost 20 of us in the Oncology Department (+ some other halves) trained to run the Great South Run, but alas, cancelled by Storm Ashley. This year, half of us were still up for it. And this time, rain or shine, we were there. Some were running for the first time and some were running superstars.

    During races, there are runners who would have Plan A (personal best), Plan B (baseline), and Plan C (just finish). On this day, my Plan A was to Finish, Plan B 1:45 (10:30 per mile pace), Plan C was PB (under 1:39). With only a single 8 mile run 2 weeks ago as my training, Plan C in the rain was not happening, EVER. Plan B was a fingers crossed if I made it to 7 mile holding a 10:30 pace (again, having almost no training). So Plan A was the most likely bet.

    I started off with under 10 minute miles for the first 2 miles then about 10:27 for the next few then slowed down to about 11:00. Now just relying on stamina from a bygone era, pulling out old muscle fibres from any cobweb-laden cupboard, and zen-like thinking – mind over matter, be one with the rain. I crossed the Finish Line at 1:54:45, David was already waiting for me for 20 minutes, fully soaked. The rest of our team had great results. Some accomplished Personal Bests (David, consistent at 1:46 now managed a 1:45) whilst some of us (me) simply crossed the Finished Line with set expectations met.

    The Great South Run (part of the Great Run enterprise) is so well-organised and so well set up in Southsea. Best 10-miler in the world. The route showcased the best things of the city… Old Portsmouth and its historic ships, the university, the street art, and of course, the seafront (which some cities dare I say would be envious of). Rain or shine, spectators lined the streets all throughout. The only stretch that was protected was the historic dockyard, but the Race Marshalls were there to cheer us on. There was music almost every mile and even a stretch where residents has set up club-like speakers blasting ‘I wanna dance with somebody’ by Whitney Houston. Our little waterfront city delivered a great race to over 25,000 runners this year (and every year). Til next year!

    It’s a family affair.

  • Project Declutter

    As mentioned in the last post, I plan to Declutter. Declutter my house, thoughts, and my projects (predominantly work projects). Breaking news: Project Declutter is a new project. Ironic rhymes with moronic. Well, here we go – starting with Goals for each.

    Inspired by a BBC article Why now is time to declutter and four ways to get started

    Declutter house – clothes, old/forgotten toys, kitchen cupboards, random stuff, garden. (Hint: this is already getting stressful). Start small as the BBC advises so I will start with my own clothes. Keep my favourites and clothes I feel good and comfortable in, donate the rest. I can’t be bothered with selling stuff on Vinted.

    Declutter thoughts – This year, I’ve read self-help books focusing on how to ace your mornings. I read The 5am Club and The Miracle Morning – both promoting prescriptive lifestyle changes for the first hour of your day. The 5 am Club has 20/20/20 (exercise, reading, reflection – 20 minutes each) and The Miracle Morning has SAVERS (silence, affirmations, visualisation, exercise, reading, scribing – 10 minutes each). I have decided that I am not ready to religiously subscribe to either prescription. (Also, there needs to be The Miracle Morning for Mums). But I get that exercise, stillness, reflection, planning are important early in the day.

    Rise and Shine

    I normally am the first person to wake up at home – around 5 am. I do enjoy the silence in the house and some quiet me time. Xavier is my morning buddy as he wakes up at 530 am without fail. So this is our time together which I really value. Chaos (the official start of the day) starts when breakfast is a go.

    At the beginning of September, towards the tail end of the BBC Proms, I started yet another project – Project Classical Music. The question being… ‘What would happen if I just listened to classical music for a year?’ And aiming to then go to the BBC Proms in 2026. Keeping it simple, I will only listen to BBC 3 in the car. So far, I’ve learnt about Benjamin Britten’s Midsummer Nights Dream and Maurice Ravel’s Rapsodie Espagnole, I really want to read Jilly Cooper’s Appasionata, and also, Night on Bald Mountain is pretty wild in the car.

    Where am I going with this? Well, listening to classical music on the way to work and back, despite aiming for a calm mind, it has instead invigorated me (non-caffeinated waker upper). It has helped me reflect and plan my day out. After dropping the kids off, I spend the first full piece that comes on the radio as my Mindfulness piece and just enjoy the music and keep my mind still. The second piece is for planning the day – 2 things, what is the first thing I need to do when I get to work and what I must accomplish that day.

    BBC Radio 3 – Listen. You might become a believer.

    Declutter projects – surely not by starting another project such as Project Declutter or Operation: Pass Physics! Well, I will be moving to Southampton at the beginning of November, starting with Urology. So I am in the process of off-loading my Portsmouth projects to other colleagues and vowed not to start any projects when I get to Southampton until I pass Physics.

    And don’t sign up for any other races. Maybe just go on 3 mile runs for now.

    Simple, right?

  • Big Blows to Contend With

    This year has not been that great with goals and accomplishments. I think that I have gotten really good at believing I can do anything, that I can multi-task. I have all 10 fingers in 10 different desserts. I seriously thought that I have so much energy to burn off. The outcome of this falsely immovable self-belief is sadly, mediocrity.

    Sounds like I’m really hard on myself. I started this blog to document (for myself and for anyone who cares to read) my journey in achieving a goal I have set for myself – running the World Marathon Majors. This is all whilst being a mum of 2 young kids and training to be a Clinical Oncologist.

    I am so focused on getting good at all 3 roles. However, worlds do collide and things do get complicated.

    As a mum, my benchmark is that ‘as long as the kids are healthy, happy, and are doing well in school.’ So far, David and I have achieved that despite full-time jobs (him as a dual-trainee in Intensive Care Medicine and Anaesthetics and me in Clinical Oncology). I do not know how we manage, but somehow we do.

    As a runner, it has not been such a great year, even starting with the Portsmouth Coastal Marathon last December. Followed by the Tokyo Marathon. Then Edinburgh Marathon. All were 5 hour marathons back to back. Complete regression. Now the Great South Run is in 2 weeks and I don’t think I could run it.

    As a Clinical Oncology trainee, I failed my Physics exam for the third time. Taking the FRCR Part 1 for the first time (which entails Cancer Biology and Radiobiology, Pharmacology, Medical Statistics, and Physics), I passed 2 and failed 2. Second attempt, I passed Med Stats and failed Physics. Sitting it the third time, I had thought I nailed it (or at least understand the questions asked), I was dead wrong. Here’s the kicker, I failed by just 1 mark! Just could not hack it. Failing also means I could not progress to the next training level. I’ve got 3 more attempts – I need to pass the next time.

    Failed by 1 mark

    For my Masters in Oncology course, I had also failed the Advanced Radiation essay (Skin Radiotherapy) which I had to re-write and failed again. Then I had to completely write a new one (Lung Radiotherapy), which I finally passed.

    Blow after blow, things eventually have taken a toll. However, instead spending too much time sulking, I just have to sit down a bit, dust off and restrategise. I reflected that I need to declutter… a lot. Declutter my house, my thoughts, my projects, and my grand plans. By trying to make my life as simple as possible – by focusing on being a mum, a trainee, and an amateur runner, I’ve somehow made things more complicated. Another consoling reflection, referring back to the marathon, everybody goes at their own pace. I go at my own pace.

    I don’t want to completely give running up but I need to buckle down on passing the exams. Right now, I do not have the guts or the confidence to sign up for another marathon, not until I pass this exam. I have learnt that training for a marathon and revising for exams do not go well together. Any sane person would say ‘I told you so.’ I had to learn this for myself.

    The things is… the ballot for the Sydney Marathon has just opened (for August 2026). Don’t do it Mon, just don’t (for now).

  • Digging deep at the Edinburgh Marathon

    This marathon was 8 years in the making. This was the first marathon I signed up to in 2017 (to cap finishing Med School) but I never got to go due to passport/visa delays. I ended up running 26.2 miles solo in Long Beach. I raised money for Anthony Nolan.

    This weekend, I managed to get myself to Edinburgh and actually run the damn thing.

    Headlines were 1) Edinburgh is one gorgeous city and race showcased that. 2) Race 1 was the first 18 miles and Race 2 was the brutal last 8 miles. 3) Applied lessons I learned from Tokyo. 4) There were showers at the Finish Line. 5) I thoroughly enjoyed this marathon.

    Edinburgh is one gorgeous city and the race showcased that.

    I was in Edinburgh for a total of 29 hours. Flew in, checked in, ate dinner, woke up, ran, flew out. I wish I had longer time there. The course zigzagged around the big landmarks which were of respectable sizes and presence. We ran through the University, the Royal Mile, saw Edinburgh Castle, the Scottish Parliament. It even looped around Arthur’s Seat. This was also all downhill (5 miles of downhill) towards the coast. Unfortunately, I did not capture any of this as I consciously chose to leave my phone in my bag.

    Race 1 was the first 18 miles and Race 2 was the brutal last 8 miles.

    There were 2 very distinct races during this marathon. The first being from the start line in Edinburgh all the way going east along the coast until 18 miles. There was the 5 mile downhill then along the coast, the strong wind practically pushed me all the way to 18 miles. Of note, the weather report predicted a windy day with gusts of up to 40 miles per hour. And it was exactly just that.

    Nothing ever beats coastal running. It is how I run in Southsea and it was also how I ran in Long Beach. However, if the wind is pushing you one way (‘May the wind be forever at your back’), this only means that you are going to face it head on at the switchback.

    The switchback was at Gosford House. The last 8 miles of any marathon is already the crappiest part of the run but the wind decided to spice it up a bit more. Before turning back on to the road, the heavens opened up and let down one big bucket of rain (just for kicks). Then all the way to the finish was a battle against the 40 mph gusts of wind. You couldn’t fall forward even if you tried to. To the right of us, the water was incredibly choppy.

    Starting off from Edinburgh, it was about 12 C and the sun was already out and up above at 10 am. By the time we got to the coast, I felt I was overdressed for the occasion – wearing a long-sleeve top. But at the coast, we then experienced all 4 seasons – which included HALE! Someone up there just started chucking ice cubes at us! Then periodically, a loaded cloud would start heading towards us, blown by the 40 mph winds, perfectly crossing our path and unleashing a bucket more. I actually enjoyed these random downpours as it cooled me down and kept me going. This was so unlike Tokyo where it was 20 C the WHOLE race. This also wasn’t like last year’s Edinburgh Marathon, where it poured the WHOLE race. There was a good balance in the weather – apart from the wind. My last 8 miles were consistently over 12 min/mile.

    Applied lessons I learned from Tokyo.

    First, I got to the Start area very early, right when it opened. I was at the Pink Pen. This allowed me to take my time, queued up for the loo then queued up again straight after. Then stood there with a foil blanket calmly (not panicking) until it was our time to go.

    For this race, I cut back a whole lot. At Tokyo and some races I’ve before, I carried with me so many things that in the end, were weighing me down and distracting me.

    So I didn’t wear my belt bag and didn’t bring water. I stuffed my trail shorts with gels and brought just those and relied on all the aid stations. I also didn’t bring my phone (left it in my bag at drop off), hence no race photos. I also didn’t bring any headphones as I found that I get more distracted fiddling with these especially when they lose connection. Doing all of this was actually quite liberating and allowed me to focus on me and my run.

    This was the only photo I have, before turning it off and handing it in with my baggage.

    Also, one really important lesson from Tokyo was studying the course to eliminate surprises. I did just that. Days before, I just kept reviewing the course map and watched videos from people who have run it before. I studied the elevations, and I googled the landmarks in Edinburgh. I spent zero time worrying about where the switchback was as I knew it would be at Gosford House around 18 miles. I knew that an aid station was coming and where caffeine gels were.

    Downhill for 5 miles then a flatish undulating 21 miles on the coast.

    There were showers at the Finish Line.

    Although the last few miles were a struggle as expected and I kept looking at my watch calculating if I could get 4:40. I was on track at Gosford House at 3:12 around 18 miles and had I kept going at 10 min/mile, I would have done it. But the wind had other plans for me, I immediately started running 12 min/mile turning out of Gosford House. There was more rain as well. My Garmin and the mile markers were also out of sync. I would complete a mile but the mile markers would be 0.3 miles ahead.

    During the last mile and a half, the crowd thickened on both sides of the road. The path narrowed as they kept yelling and encouraging all the runners that we are not far. You can see Finishers with their medals supporting all of us who have not tasted glory just yet.

    As with many marathons, the Finish Line is never as close as you think. There was a quick left turn and another left, all lined with supporters, and the last .2 mile was laid out in white all the way to the Finish Line. I actually sprinted and my Garmin says I ran that bit at 7:16 min/mile! Where the hell did that come from?!

    I didn’t spend much time at the Finisher’s Village as I had a plane to catch. So I grabbed my bag and headed towards the showers. Yes, the SHOWERS! The Finish was at a field of a primary school and they had a gym with several changing rooms with showers. And HOT water! It felt sooo good. This shower also revealed that I had zero chaffing (I spread deodorant all over my chafe-prone areas). It was so nice to be fresh again before the flight back.

    I thoroughly enjoyed this marathon.

    At the Start Line, I stood next to a girl who had written on her hard “Keep Digging Deep.” And when we all got to the coast, everyone kept yelling “Dig Deep!” And dig deep I did.

    This is now my 10th marathon and I have come full circle from when I first signed up and trained for one. I keep thinking about why I love doing this and I feel pure joy in the challenge. It is not just the run itself but also the months of preparation (which I could never get right due to home/work commitments), the thoughts/reflections throughout the run, the solitude despite being surrounded by masses, the last push to the finish, and of course, a nice heavy medal to solidify the intangible challenge I have just gone through.

    So despite the weather and not running for 2 weeks due to a shin splint, I actually really enjoyed this race. It was a gorgeous tour of the city and you can’t really beat coastal running (and the elements that come with it). It wasn’t as flat as promised but the crowd that lined the route were amazing throughout! There were several people playing the bagpipes!

    I finished at 5:04:30. And I am actually very happy with how the run went, all things considered. I was close to breaking my 5 hour streak (back to back to back). Next time Mon.

    8 years in the making!
    Digging Deep.

    I have also promised myself not to sign up to any marathons until I pass my Physics exam in September. Now, we’re off to Slovenia for a nice family holiday at Lake Bohinj.

  • Another pre-marathon endurance test

    Another pre-marathon endurance test

    There are periods in my life where I find myself in a different kind of race. The life/work relay. It often happens around the lead up to a marathon. This time, the 2 weeks before the Edinburgh Marathon were hectic as hell.

    The beginning of May marked the end of being a Lung Registrar and the start of being the triple threat of being a Brain, Skin, and Melanoma Registrar. All fun to learn about as a Clinical Oncology trainee. BUT the week of the 12th of May may have been one of the most challenging weeks at work.

    Monday – having all the day planned out, with childminder picking kids up from school as I will finish late from Melanoma clinic, got a message that our childminder has gastroenteritis. Panic, 2 hours before clinic starts. I had already told the school of the arrangement. Scrambled to message one of the other parents to pick the kids up. Got lucky and grateful to have them. David picked them up. Simultaneously, also found out that I was working the evening shift! And foolishly agreed to swapping an evening shift with a colleague for the following evening!

    Tuesday – I didn’t go to Skin clinic as we had all day Specialty Registrar training on Teenage and Young Adult cancers and communication. Good teaching day and we get a nice free lunch. Then had to rush back to the hospital for the back to back evening shift.

    Wednesday – I am the Emergency Radiotherapy Registrar and out of nowhere, I had to deal with 9 (NINE) referrals! Thankfully, only 1 needed urgent radiotherapy that morning – all the others, I managed to delegate/someone had already started planning. Whew!

    In the afternoon, at the Neuro-Oncology clinic, my first new patient encounter. I will remember this as one of my best ones. Although, the patient and her husband already know that she has incurable brain cancer, we have to work hard at gaining their trust that we will be with them throughout the treatment (chemoradiotherapy) aiming to push back the inevitable for as long as we possibly can. It was one of the most rewarding consultations as both the patient and her husband unexpectedly gave the most detailed feedback on how well it went (given she has terminal brain cancer). So that was good.

    Thursday – although this was admin day, I spent the whole day planning for the next day – the Acute Oncology Teaching Day. I was on Emergency Radiotherapy duty again and dealt with another referral (at least it wasn’t 9).

    Friday – the 4th Acute Oncology Teaching Day. This is also one of my favourites days. This is my baby. Twice a year, I set up a free teaching day with 8 lectures of varying Oncology issues to doctors, nurses, PAs, GPs, GP trainees and other healthcare professionals within the Wessex Deanery, who are interested in learning more about Oncology. And what a joy and privilege it is! We received great feedback from everyone. Yet again, hectic but a really good day.

    Acute Oncology Teaching Day

    Saturday and Sunday – Weekend On-Call, another 2 long days. To be clear, I had 4 (FOUR) long days this week! Luckily the weekend on-call was calm and there were no sickies or deaths in the ward.

    As it is getting warmer and lighter in Southsea, I also got to take the kids out to the beach after work/school.

    This is always special.

    In the 2 weeks leading up to the Edinburgh, I managed a 14 mile run and a 3 mile run. Along with the madness at work, I am also nursing a shin splint. So although my legs are well rested, I hope they still have some strength left for tomorrow – the Edinburgh Marathon!

    Sooo excited!

  • May Start-Up (May madness)

    2 weeks to go til Edinburgh. It is around this time that I think about how challenging it is to train for a marathon whilst ongoing training for a job and ensuring that all these things do not negatively affect the kids’ development.

    Training programme: when can I squeeze in a run?

    Until now, I have yet to establish a stable running schedule. I function on a ‘when can I squeeze in a run?’ basis. As an Oncology trainee, my working hours are predictable (M-F 830-1700 with occasional evening or weekend On-Call). David, who works in Intensive Care Medicine, has a more erratic schedule – day, long day, nights, and weekend on-call. Additionally, he has to drive about 40 mins to Southampton and back, which means very early starts and sometimes getting home late when on long days.

    At the beginning of each month, I set up our calendar and this month, this is what it looks like…

    Colour-coded May madness

    First the colours

    • Green – David
    • Blue – Me
    • Coral Pink – Maya
    • Brown – Xavier
    • Orange – both kids
    • Teal – whole fam
    • Red – conflict/important

    Second, the list of activities

    For the kids – breakfast club, afterschool club (and our initials for whoever is taking/picking them up). Then there’s Footy and Swimming. There are a couple of days when our childminder will pick the kids up from afterschool club, all other days either me or David.

    For David – day, long day, nights

    For Me – Registrar of the Week (one week On-Call), which type of clinic (melanoma, skin, or neuro-onc), weekend on-call, Institute of Cancer Research (MSc course). Of course there is a one day trip to Edinburgh (for a fun run).

    Now imagine superimposing a marathon schedule on top of this? Mostly 4 runs a week, including 1 long run over the weekend. The extra layer when training for a marathon is that I need to make sure it doesn’t interfere too much with family life – which means, the most optimal time to run is very early mornings when everyone is still asleep. I can only dream of a world or a time when I can really follow a marathon training plan to a tee. So for now, I’m on a ‘when can I squeeze in a run’ marathon plan.

    Don’t stop and think too much, just keep going.

    I’ve been built to just keep going. David and I just keep going. With the kids and no family close by, we just have to. With our full-time jobs (~50 hours/week), we chug along. It is non-stop.

    However, it is those little moments when I set the monthly schedule when I get to stop and see first hand how mad it is and ask how is it possible that we are standing upright?!

    Great comfort…

    Despite all that, there is comfort in knowing that the kids are healthy and thriving well in school. Last month, on our Wedding Anniversary, they came home very excited and eager to show us that they were both Devonshire Diamonds on the same day at school. So actually, we may be okay.

    Devonshire Diamonds

    I cannot wait for the end of the month – trip to Bohinj, Slovenia!

  • End of April recap and onwards to Edinburgh

    March and April have both been a lull and busy at the same time. That does not make any sense at all.

    I started March on a high by reaching another star in this journey. Not the time I wanted but I’ve reflected on that already. After running a marathon, I went into a mini slump mostly reflecting on my goals and also thinking which one to run next. There are sooo many like Midnight Sun or Medoc or even the Southampton. BUT. I also promised myself not to sign up for another one until I actually pass my exam. (However, I have put my name in on the ballot for Sydney 2025 and London 2026. Yikes!) Let’s face it… what was I doing training for a marathon and revising for an exam?!Both high stakes and was bound to be suboptimally achieved in the way I had gone about it. But these are the lessons I learn for myself.

    It has also been busy because I have now tried to look after all the things I have neglected these past few months. Things like keeping Oncology portfolio up to date, organising the next Acute Oncology Teaching Day, looking after my orchids, and even just getting the house back in order.

    Well-being exercise: orchid care

    I further thought about running goals and like everyone else, I just would like to be able to run better. So this month I have been trying harder. I feel like I have gone back to basics trying to run shorter faster miles. I think I have improved compared with the beginning of the year. However, my 2025 goal of running 100 miles a month has started to dwindle. I managed to accomplish it for January and February but I was waking up at 5 am. Somehow, I think that I have hit a training slump. I am managing to run 13 miles on the weekends but not so much during the week.

    One thing that is also making me nervous is a small niggle that I am feeling on my left shin. It disappears once I start running but it becomes more prominent right after a run and the days to come. I am very conscious about it and letting it rest rather than overusing it that I won’t be able to run Edinburgh.

    Edinburgh. 4 weeks to go. I need 3 more long runs and a good taper. It will also be the first time I am running with the doped up Asics Nimbus. The shoes have definitely helped with speed but I also think it is the reason for my niggly left shin. We shall see.

  • Re-framing Failure

    It is easy to make this blog just all about showcasing successes and good days. It is harder to highlight failure and struggles. However, failure and struggles are part and parcel with each challenge I go through so here we go…

    I have a career where being ambitious, motivated, and successful are core principles in order to be part of the club. No one became a doctor by chance. All doctors have varying stories of achieving high levels of success, maybe even all the way back from childhood. It is a career driven by a cutthroat cycle of learning, studying, and being examined. There are many different forms of assessments in order to progress – exams (written, oral, practical), projects, yearly reviews, portfolio-building, job interviews, training and competencies to perform procedures. Every single doctor (whether they care to admit or not) is undeniably, an overachiever. After all, you are responsible for other people’s lives and health. You need to always be on top of your game.

    That is a lot of pressure, don’t you think? But we are undoubtedly used to the pressure, we have adapted. Most of us can work under immense pressure. However, we are also all prone to burn out, especially if we don’t have built-in coping mechanisms (mine being running).

    Although we are very much trained to embrace success, we are also the absolute worst when dealing with failure. We don’t like to fail. Not being good enough is not a good feeling. Underperformance is a hard punch to the gut. And for me, I have had a fair share of blows recently. I am fully aware that I am overstretched, overwhelmed, and on the brink of burn-out. I am also aware that being overstretched and overwhelmed is self-inflicted and have most likely led to these results.

    Back in April 2023, I had the best week ever. This week is the complete opposite…

    • Poor marathon result
    • Failed the Physics essay and now have to re-do Physics module of the MSc course
    • Failed the Physics module of the FRCR Part 1 (second attempt)
    • Didn’t get into the NYC Marathon 2025.
    Passed 1, Failed 1

    I did pass the Medical Statistics (woohoo!). I already passed Cancer Biology and Radiobiology and Clinical Pharmacology back in September, when I took all 4 modules (passed 2, failed 2).

    If I was new to the Failing Game then I would be thinking that I should quit Medicine now. However, this is not the first time I’ve failed. Although it still hurts the ego a bit, I see these now in a different light. One, well I just have to get better at this. Two, learning the material will give me more confidence when I am looking after my patients. Three, learning Physics is never a bad thing – it is central in giving Radiotherapy.

    There is also the feeling of getting left behind by your peers. Everyone around you is progressing with some passing exams the first time around. When I was in the first month in the first year of being a doctor, my Educational Supervisor in General Surgery told me that I was falling behind my peers (Hello… it’s the first month!). I would like to believe that he said that so I can step up my game and be the best that I can be. It still hurt when he said it though.

    In times like these, I always think about the marathon. Everyone runs at their own pace, some will be faster than me, some will be slower than me. And not that I’m anywhere like Paula Radcliffe but she inspires many women, myself included. At Tokyo (last week), she came back to run the marathon after retiring at 40, she is now 51 and ran under 3 hours. She then said and I’d like to think she directed this at me…

    “I really take my hat off to everyone who juggles the training with a career, and family life around that, because it’s a different way – but it makes the achievement when you cross that finish line a little bit sweeter.”

    I’ll cross the Finish Line with these exams one day. And it will be one sweet day.

    ,